So long never blog le~
How is everyone??
I'm will emo now.... Don't read on if u don't want to get mess up with my though...


Haix during the missing days i was going through a change period.......
I treats my friend selfishly....
I though they didn't care for me......
They didn't contract me during school days...
I felt lonely and became selfish...
Well at least i tried very hard to be... haha xD
Maybe i am selfish..... >->
I had a lot of though in my mind....
I feel bad leaving my friend to ski alone....
even thought it's only for a while...... i still felt guilty.... ='(

When i first went to poly i tried making friends.....
They were all very nice to me
But somehow i know that they didn't felt my love for them...
I don't know how to say...
But it seems that i had forgetten how to love......
But if i forgotten how to love, why do i still care for them...
I had a mind set that i have to understand them before i could befriend with them... is that so wrong......
Mayb thats why they dont feel my care.... =S
I was afraid to show them my concern, i dont know how they would react or something...
It seems that i worries too much..... >->

Then i think back on the time where i met my best friends...
I found out that....
I had loved them before i began to understand them....
We seem to have trust each other and care for each other without any doubt... we became good friend as we cherish each other and the time we had...

Isn't it funny that we seems to make friend more easily when we were young...
It seems that our friendship strenghten everytime we meet with each other...
But as we grow our bonds seems to be weaker and fragile........ why is it so... ='(

It's because we got HURT by some asshole who doesn't treat us with respect and cherish us instead they crush our heart into billion pieces that it's so hard to heal or recover, so hard that such a deep wound still remain up till now that we fear that the same thing might happen if we open our heart to make new friend....
Of course along the way some of us manage to get over the hurt that is being cause and is able to make new friend with a prue heart of just being a friend, someone who is by your side in good or bad with just a phone call away and does things just to see your smile without wanting anything in return...

Haxi i'm sick of my own emoing le.... dont want to emo anymore so sick le.... sian.. zzzz

Anyway in the deep thought of mine i learn that i had to love someone before i could understand them instead of understanding them before i love them.... i had the wrong mind set all along so i didn't get to make any friend during the 1st seminster of mine..... XD I felt bad for treating my friend the way i had treat them >-> sorry ><
Sorry for making you read my emo and messy up thoughts..... XD
I feel better haha!~
X3